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October 18, 2004
A Columbus Disaster
Oh where to begin?! First I'll start off by saying I didn't finish the marathon yesterday. I absolutely hate to admit that/see that in writing because I've always prided myself on never dropping out of a race. As I learned yesterday though, dropping out is sometimes the smart thing to do, even when it severely wounds the ego.
Things started out well. It was a frigid morning. The temps would have been perfect (starting at 38 degrees and finishing around 50) had it not been for the stiff wind that kept the wind-chill in the low 30s all morning. Usually I relish that kind of weather but yesterday the wind was so brutal. I wore long sleeves and gloves and I never got warm, which is very strange for me.
Anyway, I digress. K and I had agreed on going for a PR of 3:08, meaning 7:10 pace. We had our pace bands, we were feeling good, all systems on go! We started somewhere in the middle of the start line and got across the line in about 30 seconds, the first mile was a little slow from trying to get around slower people in front of us, but from there we running free and feeling good. Our early splits went like this:
7:23
6:40 (over compensating for a slower first mile)
6:53
7:01
6:56
6:57 (really good rhythm by now)
7:02
7:08
7:14
6:56
7:05
7:02
The next split was not the 13 mile marker but rather the half marathon mark which we reached in 1:32:26. Okay, a little ahead of pace, but I swear, we felt good and were running smoothly (I know...famous last words). My next split was 6:15 (just 0.9 miles) and then we went:
6:51
7:28
7:31
Trouble is brewing. We started climbing a relatively benign hill, but nonetheless, we were falling off pace fast. I can honestly say I've never starting feeling so badly so quickly. Within 2-3 miles I went from feeling great and running 7 minute pace effortlessly, to really struggling to maintain 8 minute pace. Around this time I was suffering from mental meltdown syndrome. I knew we weren't going to run 3:08 and while I hate to say I gave up at that point, I do think that was at least part of my problem from there on in.
7:42
8:23
8:23
7:59
8:25
And then I turned off the watch. The 8:25 was at the 22 mile marker and that's when I started to walk. I know...big mistake. I knew when I started to walk I wouldn't get going again. K had actually been feeling worse than me and was behind me walking/jogging. Around 22.5 she caught up to me and we walked miserably together. We agreed that we'd try jogging a little at 23, which we did, but it didn't last too long. Our legs were shot, cramped and desperately begging to call it quits...for good. Odd that we both felt exactly the same, at pretty much the same points. We continued to walk until about the 24 mile marker. At this point we were both so cold I could barely take it. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I started to worry a little. The wind just would not give up. We saw a police car around 24 and K said she couldn't go on walking for another 2 miles. I agreed and we stopped at the police car for help. He called a Red Cross vehicle which came to pick us up. The Red Cross was actually not able to transport people so we sat in the car with the heat blasting and blankets around us for about 2.5 hours until K's dad and O could finally pick us up (they were such troopers for trying to find us in an area they are both unfamiliar with, totally complicated by the fact that just about every street was closed down because of the race). It was definitely a nightmare coming true.
While I was sitting in that car for 2.5 hours, mulling over our situation and feeling bad for myself (a very bad habit of mine) I thought back to the Olympics this summer and remembered Paula Radcliffe's race. She dropped out at about 23 miles or so, and I can distinctly remember wondering why in the world she just couldn't get up and jog the last 3 miles, even walk, just to finish. Now I understand why all she could do was sit there. When a body shuts down, it really shuts down. Until yesterday, I never actually felt like I just couldn't move my legs anymore. It was a very disturbing thing, and I hope I never experience it again.
Of course much analysis ensued. How in the world did this happen...to us no less?! We had both trained properly, and although we went out a tad faster than our goal, we were running 3:04-3:06 pace and I really didn't think that was out of the realm of our possibility. I've come up with a couple thoughts:
1) The wind was brutal and neither K nor I really ever felt "warm". My quads were so cramped and tight by mile 20 that I was having trouble moving. Perhaps tights or some warmer clothes would have helped. We still may have struggled, but perhaps not to as great an extent, and probably still would have been able to finish. My friend made me feel a little better by telling me that "the faster you get, the more critical things like weather/wind/nutrition are". Not that we are "fast" by any means, but I do agree that as I personally reach/push my limits as a runner, the little things like weather are going to affect my race more than if I was just trying to finish.
2) At first I refused to believe that we went out too fast, but I'm starting to come around to the idea. Of course we felt comfortable for the first half, but that's the whole point, the marathon is 26.2 miles! I think our fatal flaw was setting too fast a goal time to begin with. Because I saw such a big improvement between my first and 2nd marathon (11 minutes), I figured it wasn't unreasonable to expect another 4 minute improvement. That may have been too much to ask though (especially when I felt like my training was okay, but not great) and on top of that, we went out even faster (3:04-3:06). Of course hindsight is 20/20, but it would have made much more sense to aim for 3:10-3:15, especially given the conditions and go for it if we felt good. Needless to say, my race plan will be very much adjusted for my next marathon. Conservative will be my new middle name!
3) My hydration may also have been an issue. I didn't feel incredibly dehydrated but I was having an awfully hard time getting fluids in during the race and that could have also played a small part in our demise. I took my gels as planned, but I'm absolutely terrible at taking fluid while I'm running. It's getting harder too as my pace gets faster. In my first marathon (which O ran with me) we basically walked a few steps through each water station to make sure we got a full drink of water/Gatorade in. I didn't mind that then because our goal was to finish. Well (foolishly) yesterday I just didn't feel like slowing down to take fluids. I skipped several aid stations and the ones I did get I didn't slow down enough to actually get the water in my mouth. Now I know, slowing down the few seconds it takes to walk a step or two and actually get the water in is well worth it.
So that's my analysis. I'm sure I'll think about it a few more hundred times before I put it to rest. :) What I do know for sure though is, is that there are many positives to take from this, because after all, it would be a shame if I didn't get at least one good thing from this experience! First and foremost, the several lessons I learned from our mistakes at Columbus are invaluable to us in future marathons. Proper attire, proper hydration and proper, realistic goal times are imperative. Second, this marathon was a lesson in accepting defeat with grace. It's always been easy for me to be graceful with a good performance, but I've not been so good with bad ones. I don't want to sound too philosophical, but running lessons really translate well into life lessons and I was schooled pretty hard yesterday! All the cliches fit here; life will go on, worse things have happened, there will always be another day, etc...
So where to go from here? Unfortunately it wasn't a 5K and can't find another one to jump in next weekend to redeem myself! (okay...I probably could find another marathon next weekend but that would probably be a REALLY bad choice). I'll admit that I feel a sense of loss for all the training I did with such a dismal result, but I have to trust that that training will not go to waste. It did make me strong and hopefully the next result will be a much improved performance!
One thing is for sure, I'm very sore today, just as if I had run the full marathon. I've decided I'd like to take at least one full week off and let my poor body (and my aching feet) heal. I can then start slowly back into it, running easy for probably another 3 weeks. After that I'll have 3-4 weeks before I would actually start any kind of Boston marathon training plan to build back up towards marathon-like mileage. I'm still 95% sure I want to run Boston in the spring, but I first have to forget the pain of yesterday!
So that's my story. I really wish I could have written all about how I set my new PR and how wonderful I felt doing it! Alas, racing (and life in general) isn't always that simple. Onward we go though. The bad ones are only going to make the good ones seem that much better!
Posted by beth at October 18, 2004 2:26 PM
Comments
Aw, Beth, I'm so sorry! It sounds like the two of you were running so well for the first 15 miles or so. What I am truly amazed about, though, is the fact that barely 24 hours after the race, you've already gotten to the acceptance part of your analysis. That of course you're not happy with your result, but you accept it. That is truly humbling to read and you should consider yourself a big person for being there already. As you said, the real challenge and goal is to take what you learned yesterday, and use that knowledge to go beyond next time around. Take care, rest your body and mind, and focus towards your next goal. Thinking of you! Meghan
Posted by: Meghan at October 18, 2004 4:31 PM
Thanks Megan, your words are too kind! Although it took me a long time to learn (and I seem to forget often), having a little perspective is so key in life, and that's what I'm trying to do now. I appreciate your support! :)
Posted by: Beth at October 18, 2004 5:27 PM
Sorry...that's Meg(h)an...not Megan! Give me enough tries and I'll eventually get it right... :)
Posted by: Beth at October 18, 2004 5:28 PM
I'm sorry your marathon didn't go as well as planned. Even though I don't know you, I've read your blog off and on over the past few months and I know that you were in good shape and that you did the work. I'm glad that you can look at the experience already and see things that you need to work on. I have yet to run my first marathon, so I can't tell you that I've been there or that I know how you feel, but I am sorry that it didn't work out as well as you planned. I'm glad to see that you're already thinking about the next one though...that's a good sign! I hope you have a quick recovery!
Posted by: Karly at October 18, 2004 6:14 PM
I'm sorry, too. I wondered all day yesterday after checking out the results--I was worried! I've definitely been there and the mental frustration is (more than) half the battle once you get to that point. Your training was terrific and nothing--not even a DNF--can change that. Keep trying to keep it all in perspective and it will all work out in the end.
Posted by: becky at October 18, 2004 7:10 PM
Beth, I am so impressed that you are already to the acceptance stage. One of the hardest things about the marathon in particular is that one puts many months into one race on one day. If that one race on that one day does not go well, one can not go the next weekend and redeem oneself-the recovery still takes just as long. From what you wrote, it sounds like the wind was brutal and being outside for hours in just some skimpy shorts, etc does not let you get really warm. Personally, it takes me a long time to get warm and if I'm not getting warm it isn't going to happen.
Best wishes in a speedy recovery. Get lots of rest and a massage if you can :-) (the best part of hard training!)
Blondie
Posted by: Blondie at October 18, 2004 8:29 PM
Hey Beth! I am amazed at your grace and perspective. I was thinking about you all day and I even looked up "Beth"in the results, but when I didn't see a very fast Beth, I also got a little worried. I admire you for having the courage to make the RIGHT decision and listen to your body. As painful as things are right now, it is always comforting to know that you have another shot!!!
YOU ROCK!
Posted by: bridget at October 18, 2004 10:04 PM
No worries on my name. It's my parents' fault for adding too many consonants. I've spent much of my life being called Meg to avoid this issue. I've also been called M&M (for my first and middle names) and Emmy (who knows why). And currently my nickname from my friends is Meg-o. Basically, you can call me whatever you feel like! Meg(h)an :)
Posted by: Meghan at October 18, 2004 10:15 PM
Oh no. Sorry to hear it didn't go well.
If I can add anything to what everyone's already said it's that you *will not* lose all the hard work you've put in. It'll be with you always - when you race your next 5K and when you start training for your next marathon. Even if the race didn't go as you'd hoped your training has most likely brought you to a new level and now you get to start from there and go forward.
Posted by: jenandmats at October 18, 2004 10:38 PM
Beth, I'm sorry to hear about your race. You had a spectular effort for that first 15 miles, and I know that your lessons learned will only make you a stronger runner (mentally and physically) for your next race. I'm glad you listened to your body...rest up. :)
Posted by: Leilani at October 18, 2004 11:28 PM
How are you feeling today? I dropped out of a trail marathon in Arizona (Prescot, or Prescyle...or something like that...just east/west of Phoenix) a few years ago...and it was the worst feeling in the world...my experience was nearly identical to yours...! Every run/even when you drop out adds to your life time running resume...keep that in mind...that's how i try to look at it...this will only make every run from here on out...easier...(at least that 's what I think)... Still--it's hard to get over the mental agony of stopping... Stay positive....You are an awesome runner...and your good days will far outnumber your not so good days!!!
Posted by: Liz at October 19, 2004 3:14 AM
Beth, I am so sorry the marathon did not go how you had hoped. I am also amazed at your positive outlook and acceptance of what happened - perspective is so important and so hard to attain. You have put in excellent training and I am sure that it will pay off soon. Best of luck with your recovery and training for the next race!
Posted by: barb at October 19, 2004 9:52 AM